The Secret to Gaining Control of Your Finances and Reaching Your Goals (and it's definitely not about “cutting” spending)
I’ve been focusing a lot on the logistics of money management lately from my most recent post about saving and spending on a trip to Costa Rica to the three-part series on becoming a financial late bloomer. But there’s been a post niggling in the back of my mind for the past few months that is a little more nuanced. I’m a naturally detail-oriented and step-by-step kind of person so this type of post is a little out of my comfort zone but I hope you will enjoy it.
This post is about what it really takes to gain control of your finances and start to make progress towards reaching your goals. And spoiler alert: it's a mindset shift. In this post, I’m going to try to articulate what the mindset shift looks like and then I’ll describe three things that you can do to cultivate this mindset shift.
The Ready to Bloom Mindset
I’ve been coaching for long enough to observe some patterns and similarities in what it takes for my clients to gain control of their money and start to make real progress towards reaching their financial goals. It’s almost like some sort of switch goes off - some might call it a lightbulb moment. I call it the “ready to bloom” mindset shift. When this mindset shift happens, I’ve noted that my clients feel energised, motivated, and determined to take action.
Have you ever felt this way? Maybe you have as you’ve worked on a new business, a project at work, or when you’ve worked towards an important health goal.
Today, I wanted to tell you about three ways that you can cultivate this crucial mindset shift: by being open to behaviour shifts, by changing your vocabulary, and by looking ahead.
Be Open to Behaviour Shifts (both big and small)
The first element that needs to be in place to make real progress towards reaching your financial goals is to be open to making shifts in your behaviour. Easier said than done, I know. We all get into our patterns and habits in life and it is no different when it comes to money. But the fact is, nothing is going to change if nothing changes. If you can be open and willing to make some shifts in your behaviour then you are one step closer to finding your “ready to bloom” mindset.
What do I mean by behaviour shifts? Well, this will depend on you and your financial situation. Smaller shifts might be anything from closing an unnecessary bank account, shifting your spending so it's more in line with your values and priorities, or carving out 10 minutes a day for a new daily budgeting routine. A bigger behaviour shift might mean going from a two car household to a one car household or finding a higher paying job.
I clearly remember the coaching call when I gently asked a client, Jennifer, if she had ever considered any options to increase her income. She flatly replied “No” and told me that this wouldn’t be possible. To Jennifer, at that moment, increasing her income was simply not an option. But between that call and our very next call something “clicked” and she became much more open to behaviour shifts. On our next call she excitedly told me about several different ideas she had for increasing her income and from that day forward she started to make big strides towards reaching her goals.
Behaviour shifts can be uncomfortable. Sometimes the discomfort is emotional (like saying “no” to someone about purchasing something) and sometimes it is physical (like choosing to not indulge in those donuts or picking up extra hours at work). I find it helps to notice the discomfort and keep the reason for the discomfort in mind. I’m currently working towards some health goals and one of the behaviour shifts I’m working on is to get out of bed early and exercise. It is hard but I find if I can keep my reasons for this shift in mind I am much more likely to get up and get going. Some mornings I have to force myself to think about the reason for the exercise and it does help (and yes, it's still hard).
Change Your Vocabulary
Another step that you can take to cultivate your “ready to bloom” mindset is to notice and change your vocabulary. I am convinced that a few subtle shifts in the way we talk about money can really go a long way.
Here are some tangible examples.
Instead of talking about “cutting back” in certain areas, think and talk about “aligning your spending to your priorities” or “getting to” spend on certain things that are really important to you. My kids often ask me to spend on fast food, particularly at a certain Canadian establishment famous for coffee and donuts (looking at you Mr. Horton). I have $40 allocated towards fast food a month. If I’ve already spent this amount, I’ll talk to the kids about having other priorities, “getting to” save for our next trip instead, or that fast food simply isn’t where I want my money to go right now. They get it. Now that they’ve watched me save for a big trip, they get it even more when it's a “no” for spending on fast food above my monthly allotment.
Instead of talking about “savings”, a rather generic and obtuse concept, think of it in terms of “future spending”. Money is meant to be spent, whether it's that day, that month, or in the future. Really nailing down what your goals are helps make setting aside money for future spending much easier.
Come up with a mantra about how great you are with money. Instead of telling yourself “I’m not good with money”, think of a phrase you can tell you yourself during important moments, like “I’ve really got my #%& together when it comes to money” or “I’ve got a good handle on my finances”. Even if you’re still on the journey to becoming “good” with money, a mantra that you can pull out during times of pressure can go a long way.
Look Ahead
All of the clients who have worked with me and who have brought or developed a “ready to bloom” mindset have had one thing in common: they are ready to look forward and not backwards. They are accepting of their past financial decisions and are able to really get excited about the future. They are able to create a picture of how they would like to live their life and are ready to dream big. They are ready to stop beating themselves up about the past. Sometimes this shift may take some coaching or therapy with a professional.
Conclusion
In your journey towards reaching your financial goals, it's crucial to recognize that the key lies not in “cutting back” on spending. That’s thinking small. It’s truly all about a fundamental shift in mindset. Cultivating a “ready to bloom” mindset will empower you to take control of your finances and stride confidently toward your goals.
Easier said though, right? If you're feeling overwhelmed, start by working on one of the three elements above. Sometimes a small shift will motivate you to try another small shift and you’ll soon find that your progress will take off.
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